Anyone can get an STI.
I’ll write that again in case it didn’t sink in: anyone can get an STI.
I’m repeating this because there is such significant stigma against people who have or have had an STI. The stigma is that if you have an STI, you must be “dirty”. You must be a “slut” or “irresponsible”. But anyone can get an STI.
Accidents can happen, partners can lie or be asymptomatic, and grandma can give you a cold sore when you’re five. This is why it is so important to get tested at regular intervals, or when you start new relationships: anyone can get an STI.
So if you have an STI test come back positive, what can you do?
The first thing is, of course, to talk to your doctor. The reason why “sexually transmitted infections” is typically used over “diseases” is because many STIs are just that – they are infections that can be treated. This includes bacterial infections (such as syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia) and parasitic infections (such as trichomoniasis, pubic lice aka crabs, and scabies). Fungal infections (such as yeast infections) aren’t technically STIs, but in rare circumstances can be transferred through sexual contact, and can also be treated with medication.
If you’re being treated for an STI, it’s important to take the medication prescribed exactly by your doctor. Don’t stop if symptoms subside, as they may return. Be very careful if you are engaging in sexual activity while being treated for an STI – you could possibly transfer the STI back and forth between you and your partner(s). You can also transfer an STI back to yourself using a sex toy that has been improperly cleaned. Be sure to sterilize your sex toys if possible, and cover them with a condom or glove if that’s not possible. It’s also important to return for follow-up testing to ensure that the treatment worked, as antibiotic-resistant strains of certain STIs are on the rise.
If you are told that you have a viral STI, such as herpes, HPV, hepatitis, or HIV, remember that there are treatments available. The treatment varies, but basically, these diseases can be effectively managed with modern medication. If you use barrier methods, stay on top of your medication, and regularly check-in with your doctor, it doesn’t have to be a hindrance on your life.
So, if you get a positive diagnosis, how do you tell your partner(s)? That’s probably the hardest part, because of the stigma that I mentioned earlier. Many of these STIs are tracked by public health authorities, and they will contact past partners for you to tell them to get tested. Having a conversation like this with your partner(s) may not be easy, but it’s necessary for their health so they can get tested and possibly treated as well. It’s important not to place blame, as blaming each other probably won’t help (and you can remind them of that as well).
The conversation can be framed as you caring about their health and that you don’t want to lie to them. It doesn’t need to be super serious either, it can be “hey, remember I mentioned I was getting tested? Well, the results came back. I have [STI] but I’m [receiving this treatment] and it should [clear up soon or be manageable]. You should go get tested.” And then give them some space. It’s understandable if it takes a while for the news to settle in, and they may be quite stressed because of the uncertainty until they get their test results.
If you have a viral STI, you will have to disclose this to any future partners. Not doing so would mean that they did not give informed consent to any sexual acts, and in some cases people have been charged with assault because they did not disclose their STI status to their partner(s). This won’t be easy, but when you find people who are super understanding (maybe they’re sex-positive and don’t buy into stigma, or maybe they have a diagnosis themselves) you know they’re keepers.
And remember – medical advances are happening every day. People used to die of syphilis, and a few days ago a baby was confirmed to have been cured of HIV. We’ve come a long way in our lifetimes, and there’s always hope that treatments will become even more effective.
This blog is being run in conjunction with the Sexual Health Resource Centre, located in theJDUC, room 223. Follow them on Twitter @shrckingston.
Tags
All final editorial decisions are made by the Editor(s)-in-Chief and/or the Managing Editor. Authors should not be contacted, targeted, or harassed under any circumstances. If you have any grievances with this article, please direct your comments to journal_editors@ams.queensu.ca.
