QJ Sex: Keep bleeding love

If you menstruate or have sex with someone who does, listen up.

The SHRC used to play an instructive game in residences about healthy relationships called “Steps to Intimacy”.

We included several potential milestones in relationships, such as adding each other on Facebook, meeting friends, kissing on the lips, giving oral sex and having sex during menstruation. The last milestone almost always elicited an, “Ew, gross! Never!”

But a person’s sex drive doesn’t stop just because they’re on their period. For a lot of people, the hormones involved with menstruation can increase libido.

If a person spends approximately one week per month menstruating, then that’s presumably 25 per cent of their lives where they’re assumed not to be a sexual being.

Having sex while on your period won’t necessarily hurt you. In fact, some people find that orgasms can decrease cramping and headaches associated with PMS.

Orgasms tend to temporarily relieve the menstrual flow. Menstrual blood is a natural lubricant, making the whole process a lot more comfortable for many people.

Some people find that they’re just too tender to enjoy it, and that’s okay, too.

Don’t forget that while the chances are lower, there’s still a possibility of getting pregnant during this time of the month, so make sure to use proper protection.

You might have to take some extra precautions, like laying down a towel, or making the cleanup and sexy times all-in-one by getting it on in the shower.

If you want to reap the benefits but don’t want to clean up the mess, you can buy special menstruation cups called Softcups that allow for penetrative period sex. They’re easily accessible — even Shoppers Drug Mart sells them.

You don’t need to have penetrative intercourse to relieve sexual desires, though. Manual or oral clitoral stimulation doesn’t require penetration and can be reciprocated for your partner. Anal sex also remains an option during menstruation.

Periods are often an unpleasant topic of conversation. They can be messy and inconvenient, and cause horrible cramps or migraines. There are plenty of reasons for legitimately disliking periods.

The stigma of being on your period is no reason to feel shame during sex, or to avoid talking about alternative menstrual options.

One alternative product that’s often overlooked is the Diva Cup. It’s a silicone menstrual cup that’s sold at the SHRC for $31.

They catch menstrual blood and prevent leaking, but don’t absorb the blood like tampons. It’s therefore mess-proof and doesn’t cause Toxic Shock Syndrome.

It’s also reusable — simply empty the Diva Cup into the toilet and rinse it out. It should be sterilised in boiling water or in a dishwasher between menstrual cycles. The cup can’t be worn during sex, but it can be used during oral sex or manual clitoral stimulation. It’s definitely an option if you’re concerned about making a mess.

Don’t look at your period with a sense of dread — and remember, you don’t have to stop having fun during that special time of the month.

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