How the Powers That Be Broke My Achy Breaky Heart


  • Once in a while you think you're in love. Butterflies unleash upon meeting with the beloved. School becomes that thing you need to get around to doing... when you get the chance. The paths we take are varied but that special feeling, that rush, is the same for all. I have Dylan, Bono, Harper and Young to thank. Truly a match made through the stars.
  • Some will scoff at the idea of love over the internet, though I suspect the number of doubters are decreasing. The idea of a Viagra spokesperson, 200 lbs your senior, wooing you with Point Break-style surfing stories all under the guise of being a 24-year-old babe, is enough of a threat to outweigh potential friendship, love, bearing of children that motivate toward that walk on the wild side. But what about when no one is trying to impress anyone and things just happen?
  • Napster. Oh Napster. They'll tarnish your name but you'll always be our Joan of Arc, our Prince of Thieves. You are gold to me and to all true music-lovers. What a wonderful world we live in, with technology and cable and satellites.
  • You were born on a beautiful day that must have been full of blue skies and sunshine. You not only helped those who could not afford to indulge in wanton consumerism, but you also opened our eyes to new music we were fated to hear. How was I turned on to your illustrious charms? I could come up with immediate ‘explanations’ but the true answer is simple. It was destiny.
  • Three months after our first acquaintance, I was familiar with your every nook and cranny. In the short time we’d known each other, you had already given me about 200 songs. Somewhat timid, however, I was still seeking out my established favorites, new radio singles whose whole CD I could never buy (think "I Waaaant It That Waaaayyy"), and stuff I hadn't heard since mullets were cool (oh wait, when was that?). When my wish list ended I was stuck, but I couldn't give up the addictive lure of free attainment. So I began looking for songs from my favourite bands and singers that I'd never heard.
  • One user was constantly reappearing and so I added the user to my hotlist. Aside from all the songs I already knew and loved, "BonoCrazyhorse" had songs that I'd long forgotten about, rarities from my favorite bands, tracks from my favorite movies.
  • Trusting his taste, I began to download songs from bands I'd never heard of just because he seemed to like them. Proving worthy of trust, I proceeded to download alien songs with appealing titles. Met with very little disappointment, I became a digital stalker. I would wait and wait for my user to come on. I'd celebrate our inevitable union on the margins of my classnotes: "Deena BonoCrazyhorse". He sat in the windmills of my mind and I had no doubts that he had to be pretty cool; you know—pretty similar to myself. So I went up to the upper right-hand side of the Napster window to instant-message this new crush. ICQ (both demon and cupid) had been an integral part of my life since first year but never before had I "chatted" with a stranger in the night. Meekly and tritely, despite all my efforts to the contrary: "Thank you". Hoping this person wasn't as big a snob as I, I waited for a response. And it came: "No problem". An obvious sign the fascination was mutual. Next time I wrote more.
  • I was on his hotlist! ‘Hot’ list. I asked a couple questions about some of the listed bands and slyly veered curiosity toward personal conversation. Receiving a somewhat quirky response, I knew we were on a comfortable level. Soundtracks led to movies led to experiences led to philosophies. We were friends. Maybe more. Pretty soon things were all mixed up. Pretty soon we had our own language to speak in. Most of the time we'd flirt but wouldn't venture beyond that. It wasn't until the end of the world, the eve of destruction that I decided to say something. "How's it gonna be between us when Napster's shut down? Maybe I don't wanna know." He responded sincerely. "I can't answer that but if I didn't care I wouldn't be spending hours talking to you all the time like this." Feelings were acknowledged and we joked about a midnight rendezvous and that was it— the last time I talked to him.
  • The courts ruled that Napster was breaking copyright laws and started heavy filtration of Napster’s wealth of copyrighted music. A lot of stuff was still out there misspelled and cryptic of course, but then you were cut off before you could complete a song and as such, you couldn't be on for very long.
  • They say there are comparable programs out there, for example. But they don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s just not the same. Napster was simply the best.
  • Things have changed and though you can still see the tracks of my tears, I know it's time to move on. It's time to walk away. As time goes by, I see that. Maybe this year's love wasn't meant to be. Dammit.
  • Spot any songs floating around? There are actually 51 songs off my mp3 list embedded in this story. If you can spot all of them, perhaps you're my BonoCrazyhorse. However, I would like to point out that No Doubt, and “Achy Breaky Heart,” are NOT included on my playlist and were merely incidental.


D: Hi there. so I've downloaded a few of your songs and I just wanted to acknowledge your stellar taste.
BC: ha ha ha. Yah, I noticed. Thanks. For what it's worth, i think I've
downloaded some of yours too so the feeling is mutual.

D: What's going on?
BC: well, in a little while i'm leaving on a jet plane for malibu to do some big pimpin'. You know how it is.
D: Yah, you wish.
BC: i do wish. I'm actually feeling a little lost and lazy and just want to sleep the clock around.

D: You know, i've been thinking about you lately with all this stuff that's going on in my life. I kinda wish you were here.
BC: well maybe i'll come visit then.
D: Really? how would you get here: drive? run? if i had a boat...

BC: alright look, take the midnight train to Georgia, I’ll meet you down there. It’s gorgeous. Have you ever seen the rain in Georgia? Purple rain. It’s beautiful.
D: Sounds radioactive.
BC: that’s my invitation, take it or leave it.

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