Why no Sheerios?

There are two things that fascinate me about it: the randomness of the issue itself, and the fact no one appears to have noticed it. Except me, of course, who managed to take note of it in a flash of brilliance.

There are no female mascots on breakfast cereals.

Think about it for a moment. Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, the Alpha Bits Computer that sounds suspiciously male...the list goes on. There isn’t a single female character out there designed to represent breakfast cereal. Trust me, I’ve spent long, pointless hours in the supermarket building proof for this hypothesis.

So, now that I’ve brought it to your attention, don’t you find it odd there aren’t any girls? Don’t you find it bizarre that you’ve never even thought of it before? Admit it. The more you think about it, the more you mull it over during your Calculus lecture or your root canal, the more unbelievable it becomes. Even the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee is a guy.

Now, at this point you’ve likely pegged me as a militant feminist who, by way of brute force and some angry facial expressions, will set out to correct the system and have some female characters made.

But no. I really could care less which gender is used. In the whole scheme of things I wouldn’t even care if they used cartoons of postage stamps or cutlery to sell their products. I merely find the issue fascinating, first, because I can’t think of a viable reason for the lack of female representatives, and second, because I can’t believe I’m the only person who has noticed this.

When I ramble to my peers in my usual fits of random banter, I am greeted with disbelief and denial at the mention of the issue in question.

“Surely there must be one girl,” they chime in unison. But there isn’t, my simpleton friends; there isn’t.

Perhaps you’ve found this little tidbit of information pointless and random. Perhaps only random. Or, perhaps you are like myself and remain unchanged, but will wonder every so often, “What is the reason for this male-only cereal predicament?” What’s so wrong with giving Sugar Bear a female voice and some pearl earrings?”

I suppose advertising has its reasons; people are coming off the psychology degree assembly line pretty quickly, and everyone knows marketing is built on a foundation of subliminal messages. One can only imagine what the real reasons are—the strange, bizarre reasons why females aren’t used to sell cereal, the reasons why no one has been able to notice it, the reasons why the Corn Flakes Rooster doesn’t wear any pants. I could go on.

On second thought, there is something a little off about a cereal called ‘Trix’ represented by female miniskirt-clad blondes. Perhaps the cereal companies have good reasons after all.