Let's assess

It must be noted that this is NOT Veronica Graham’s bum.
It must be noted that this is NOT Veronica Graham’s bum.
Credit: 
Photo courtesy of www.imedical.com

I am a woman. I have breasts. I have curves. I also have cellulite.

Why is it that the latter is so undesirable? Dimples are cute on my face so why are they considered so appalling when they’re anywhere below my waist?

I never used to think about cellulite, because I really didn’t have any. Then one fine day while I was at the gym I almost screamed. As I turned away from the mirror I caught a horrified glimpse of what I was so sure I had successfully avoided-cellulite! I didn’t know what to do.

I wanted a solution that would get rid of it pronto so I ran to the back room to surf the Internet to find out why God had chosen me to inflict with this skin disease. And instead of my horror growing I discovered a few things that helped to calm me down and actually make me laugh out loud.

I am active. I run twice a week, I cycle three times a week and would not hesitate to call myself athletic.

What was the first little tidbit of information that I discovered? Cellulite usually occurs in women who are active. Wondeful. Point Veronica. I continued to scroll and stumbled upon this next fact - estrogen is a main cause of cellulite. Apparently women who are on birth control and who are pregnant have increased susceptibility due to the increase of estrogen in their systems.

Excuse me? Did I miss something? Because I am a woman I am more prone to cellulite?

It was at this point I began to wonder - why the hell is cellulite considered such a problem? Cellulite does not just happen in obese women and yes, men may get it. After all, it is a natural occurrence.

I am a healthy twenty-two year old female who has some cellulite and I’m starting to wonder if the quest to rid myself of this “condition” is even worth it. Since developing cellulite seems to be as easy as having estrogen, the tactics to remove it should be simple. Yes? No. One suggestion I stumbled across was the detoxifying diet. Fresh fruit, veggies, and whole-grain foods. That sounded easy enough...oh wait...what’s that...eliminate coffee, soda, sugars, smoking and alcohol while you’re at it. Purification is the keyword in fighting cellulite. I haven’t even started and already I am behind. Technically I could do this. Drink loads of water, don’t eat anything from the corner of Princess and Division, walk past the candy bins at A&P, say no to cheap beer on Tuesdays and never, ever again make a 10:58 pm College Variety dash.

Wicked. I’d be set. I would have thighs as smooth as a baby’s bottom. People would envy my commitment and determination. But would I be happy? Probably not. If having a few dimples on the backs of my legs is the price I have to pay to be able to have a couple of drinks with my friends while eating Gummi Bears than so be it.

Let’s assess: Cellulite goes along with being a woman. I suggest we try not to fight it and embrace it for what it truly is - a little reminder of what it’s like not to be perfect.

Top Five Words/Phrases That Sound Dirty But Aren’t

1. Rectilinear propogation
2. Masticate
3. Titillating
4. Sasquatch
5. Pontification

--compiled by Vanessa Crandall

Top Ten Sexiest Canadian Politicians

10. Mike Jones
(former VP of University Affairs)
9. Janina Fischer Balfour (Kingston Green candidate)
8. Hazel McCallion (mayor of Mississauga)
7. Ian Griffiths (Queen’s student who ran for NDP nomination)
6. Kim Campbell
5. Sir John A. MacDonald
4. Brian Mulroney
3. Stockwell Day
2. Belinda Stronach
1. Pierre Elliot Trudeau

--compiled by Journal staff

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