DVDs: perfect procrastination aids

A sneak-peek at five upcoming fall releases

Christian Bale, as Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins, portrays the Dark Knight in a “primly smouldering” fashion.
Christian Bale, as Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins, portrays the Dark Knight in a “primly smouldering” fashion.
Photo courtesy of imdb.com

DVD Preview: Fall Releases

Call it stress-relieving, call it marvellous, call it antisocial—odds are, the average student will be doing a lot of DVD-watching this year. Maybe it’s because you don’t have time to watch prime-time television on a regular basis. Maybe it’s because cable is an expense you just can’t seem to justify to yourself, or maybe it’s because after a long day of class, your couch looks a hell of a lot more appealing than a sticky, exorbitantly-priced movie seat.

Here’s a peek at five releases hitting the shelves this fall. And remember, watching an entire season of a show in one night is sometimes necessary. At least, that’s what I keep telling my housemates.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy—Sept. 13

This long-awaited film version of Douglas Adams’ five-part book series explores the wacky adventures of Arthur Dent (Martin Freeman of The Office-fame, or a.k.a. the timid sex-double guy in Love Actually) and Ford Prefect (Mos Def) when aliens destroy Earth for the construction of their interstellar highway. The fact that Marvin, the ever-depressed robot, was voiced by Alan Rickman—who always sounds perpetually bored—is hilarious.

Gilmore Girls: The Complete Fourth Season—Sept. 13

Rapid-fire dialogue and family melodrama continue as Lorelai and Rory Gilmore explore new challenges: Lorelai opens the Dragonfly Inn and Rory begins college at good ol’ Yale. The show really began to bore me after things fell through with the deliciously difficult “bad boy” Jess Mariano (Milo Ventimiglia), but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to watching reruns with my housemates.

Desperate Housewives: The Complete First Season—Sept. 20

I can’t stand this show. I’m bored out of my mind by the inane dialogue and eerie narration, and I get an overwhelming urge to pelt the screen with cheeseburgers and poutine when a gaunt-looking Teri Hatcher trots across the set. I secretly suspect she’s desperately trying to cling to sex-symbol status via emaciation. But I know that my sentiments place me in the extreme minority. So go ahead. Rent the damn thing.

Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story—Sept. 27

Family Guy and late-night food delivery go hand-in-hand, and this release is three interlaced episodes combined. The evil-genius baby Stewie sees a man on television who bears such a striking resemblance to himself that he grows convinced that patriarch Peter Griffin is not his real father. This realization leads Stewie on a madcap adventure to learn the truth about his origins. I’m laughing already—are you?

Batman Begins—Oct. 18

Christian Bale dons the batsuit for the first time in last summer’s big-budget prequel. Many people (especially hardcore DC Comics movie fans) whined that the film was substandard and lacklustre, but Christian Bale—who Entertainment Weekly’s Owen Gleiberman described as “primly smouldering”—steps into the role with ease.

Heavyweights Liam Neeson, Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine don’t hurt. And Katie Holmes (who may soon go by “Kate Cruise”) is relatively easy to ignore—and rumour has it that she’s been dropped from the next movie, anyway.

This fall, hit up the video store with reckless abandon. Hint: if you’re not hell-bent on new releases, take advantage of Classic Video’s “three movies, four nights, five bucks” deal. It’s a heck of a procrastination aid.

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