Highlands, high hopes

Scottish-Canadian Stone of Destiny capers through a feel-good story of1950s Glasgow

Smith’s latest film tells the story of the Children of Scotland
Image supplied by: Supplied
Smith’s latest film tells the story of the Children of Scotland

For those of you who haven’t been paying attention, the last few weeks of Film Friday have held a bit of a nationalist fanfare. We had some Kingston Canadian Film Fest reviews late last month, we checked out the stirring cross-Canada road-trip-pic One Week in the most recent issue and today we’re rockin’ the Stone of Destiny, nationalist not only in its propagandistic Scottish content but also in that it was funded, in part, by Telefilm Canada. Bizarre Canadian funding for this movie aside, Stone of Destiny capitalizes on the contentious relationship between England and Scotland.

This enmity seems to have existed since—dare I say it?—The Dawn of Time. Samuel Johnson once had the audacity—though surely, safe within the boarders of England, it wasn’t all that daring—to proclaim, “The noblest prospect which a Scotchman ever sees, is the high road that leads him to England!”

And in this movie, these words turn out to be true, though for different reasons than those which Dr. Johnson envisioned.

It’s a rousing tale, to be sure. The film details the true story of four Glaswegian students who, in the inky black of Christmas Eve 1950, stole into London’s Westminster Abbey to seize back the Stone of Scone—or Stone of Destiny—the coronation stone of Scotland. “Stolen” by Edward I of England in 1296, as part of a war-booty package, the Stone was then used in English coronations to symbolize subsequent English monarchs’ dominion over Scotland.

So when the Scotch kids grabbed ‘er back in 1950, the event was naturally quite a point of national pride. Eventually, they were found out, charged (though not prosecuted), and had to return the stone, but it does make for a pretty good story.

A story so good, it seems that the makers of Stone of Destiny didn’t really need to invest in the best script or the most fabulous actors. This is all well and good for crowd pleasers such as this one, if you don’t mind that it’s the Bring it On of historical films. All the requisite components of sure-fire cinematic mediocrity are in place: the hot-headed protagonist with considerable leadership qualities and desire to prove himself to the world, an early-established love interest with a feisty lass who erroneously claims she won’t fall for the protagonist’s charms, glazed-over picture-perfect national pride, motley crew of unlikely friends and conspirators, montage, partially-foiled first-attempt at success, self-doubt, pints at the pub, “the quiet one” delivers a rousing speech after saying nary a word for the duration of the flick, renewed resolve, nail-biting second attempt—you get the idea.

It’s formulaically cute, which shouldn’t be all that surprising coming from the director Charles Martin Smith of Airbud. The leading man and lady—Ian Richardson and Kay Matheson (Charlie Cox and Kate Mara)—while lacking any notable screen chemistry, are endearing in their age-old reenactment of blossoming love amidst feats of derring-do. The “meat head” character Gavin (Stephen McCole) is a treat given his kind-hearted, alcoholic shenanigans and shy guy Alan (Ciaron Kelly) is lovely to watch as he flowers, like Neville Longbottom, into a stand-up, appreciated member of the group. Nothing new, but there’s a reason these archetypes have been recycled ad nauseum throughout the ages: the folks at home just eat it up.

You could find all kinds of problems with the story. Yeah, the stone is a symbol of Scotch pride, but it was—legend has it, anyway—originally taken from the Holy Land in the early days as part of the extensive Western appropriation of artifacts from that corner of the world. Not to mention the question of whether a Scottish director, as opposed to an American one, could have made the movie into a better representation of the story. Oh, and Kate Mara (an American) doesn’t always put on the best of Highland lilts.

Nonetheless, Stone of Destiny is an uncomplicated caper destined to be nothing more than harmless rock candy for the brain—and that ain’t bad.

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