Sex in the limestone city: Exploring sexual desires with your partner

How open communication can improve your sex life

Two people flirting.

Sexual chemistry is an extremely important aspect of any relationship, but oftentimes maintaining this chemistry is easier said than done. A huge aspect of having and maintaining good sexual chemistry is the ability to be open with a partner about what we want as well as listening to our partners’ desires.

Not only does this lead to better communication in the bedroom, but it also opens the door for more adventurous, healthier and generally better sexual relationships. When we feel comfortable enough to share our sexual desires with our partners, it’s a good indicator of a healthy relationship with open communication in all aspects.

Through sharing these desires, our partner has the ability to learn more about us on a deeper level. In addition, we may be surprised to learn our desires match up with our partners’, which would only serve to increase sexual chemistry within a relationship. 

I recently took an online survey with my partner on mojoupgrade.com to discover aspects of our sexual relationship that we might be missing out on. In the online survey, we each took turns filling out questions with the answers “yes” or “no” based on things we would and wouldn’t want to try or change in our sex life. The survey is split up into different categories including: the basics, playing with toys, B.D.S.M, anal play, groupand public fun, and other fetishes. 

The questions are answered separately by each partner and, once each partner has finished, the results displayed only include the questions that both partners had answered yes to. 

The most interesting take-away from this activity was that I actually learned my partner and I shared many of the same desires. This is information we may have missed out on had we not decided to be open-minded about taking the quiz. 

Openness in the bedroom and maintenance of a fun and healthy sex life is something I believe to be an important contributor to a happy relationship. Just like any aspect of a relationship, if we’re not willing to share our thoughts or hear what our partner has to say, it may be indicative of an underlying problem between us. 

Furthermore, it’s true that the longer you spend with someone, the greater the chances that you’ll want to continue exploring newer things in the bedroom in order to keep things fun and exciting. But it’s very difficult to do this if you don’t establish a strong sexual bond with the other person. 

It’s my thought — and I practice this constantly with my partner just as he does with me — that when we’re with someone we truly trust, we should be able to share anything with them. What many people are looking for, including myself when I was single, is a relationship in which they’re fully comfortable with their partner in all aspects. With previous partners, it was always much harder for me to share what I wanted from them, which I believe was both a fundamental flaw in the relationship as well as a contributing factor in why the sex was always missing something. 

So no matter what kind of relationship you choose to be in, whether that’s now or in the future, be sure to find someone you feel comfortable enough with to share everything — even your sexual desires. Not only will this improve your bond with this partner, but it will also help you to get that good loving you deserve.

                            —Barrie Cradshaw

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