The art of sliding into DMs

Advice to help message someone on Instagram without the awkwardness

Stand out when you slide into those DMs.

Sliding into someone’s direct messages or ‘DMs’ is a scary move. Many of us refrain from messaging the person we’re interested in because we overthink what to say and don’t want to come across as creepy or overeager.  

While it’s intimidating, sliding into someone’s DMs can be a quick and effective way to get something started between the two of you. As long as you’re being safe and respectful, you don’t have much more to lose than a little pride.

There’s no perfect way to make the slide, but I can offer some advice. Here are five guidelines to use when sliding into someone’s DMs while saving some potential awkwardness: 

 

Take your profile into consideration

Before you reach out to someone on Instagram, remember they can see your profile, too. If you don’t have any photos of yourself on your profile, you may lose some points with the person you’re messaging before the conversation even begins—or they might have no idea who you are. 

 

Get in and get out

When you slide into someone’s DMs, your best option is to get out immediately—that is, you should ask for their Snapchat or phone number. Most people don’t check their DMs as often as they may check their Snapchat notifications, so by getting out of their Instagram inbox you’re automatically more important than everyone else.

 

Don’t say “hey”

More likely than not, if you start up a conversation with a simple “hey,” you won’t get an answer back—at least not one you want. Not only does this opener achieve the opposite of helping you stand out, the only thing someone can really say is a “hey” back, and if you don’t have the nerve to jump into flirting, the conversation goes nowhere. 

 

Don’t overdo the compliments

If you start rambling compliments, something like, “You’re gorgeous, you’re perfect, …” you might overwhelm the person you’re talking to. Try to keep it to one compliment off the bat so you’re not overbearing, although I personally think the best move is to wait and build up suspense within the conversation rather than compliment someone right away. 

 

Go with what you know

Kicking off your messages with something you know about the person brings a sense of familiarity to a potentially awkward encounter. If you’ve seen this person before in class, the best thing to do so is reach out to about something to do with the class and talk from there. You can say something like, “Hey, I think you’re in my stats class, have you finished the homework?” 

If you don’t know this person, the best way to message them is to build on something from their profile. If they have a picture of them travelling to Greece, you can send them a message like, “I’ve always wanted to go to Greece, how did you like the trip?”

Tags

Dating, Student life

All final editorial decisions are made by the Editor(s)-in-Chief and/or the Managing Editor. Authors should not be contacted, targeted, or harassed under any circumstances. If you have any grievances with this article, please direct your comments to journal_editors@ams.queensu.ca.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Skip to content