Please, no more celebrity fast food meals

Society can only take so much cringe

The Travis Scott meal is one example.
Photo: 
Your order is served: the abolishment of the celebrity fast food meals. 
 
You’ve surely seen them. The McDonald’s Travis Scott meal that was just a Big Mac with bacon and a cup of Sprite with extra ice. The Timbiebs at Tim Horton’s—known among satanists and masochists as ‘Bieber Balls’—that were an excuse to sell hats and tote bags. The Pusha T sandwich at Arby’s, which was the roast beef hut’s take on a fried fish sandwich. Ew. 
 
Most recently, McDonald’s introduced the Cardi B and Offset Meal during a Super Bowl LVII commercial. Their new signature order includes one cheeseburger with barbecue sauce, a quarter pounder with cheese, two drinks, fries, and an apple pie. 
 
The meal itself is fine—it’s McDonald’s food. The barbecue sauce on the cheeseburger is kind of weird, but still not as weird as relish, at least. The problem with this meal and all the ones like it is how cringe it is to use rappers and singers to sell cheeseburgers.
 
Who’s rushing out to McDonald’s for a cheeseburger because the couple who brought you “WAP” and “Bad and Boujee” apparently ‘like’ it? Is anyone that much of a sucker? 
 
We probably have the hysteria around the Travis Scott meal to blame. 
 
Even years later, it’s fair to wonder whether McDonald’s drive-thru workers have recovered from the dredges of pre-pubescent teenagers who blasted “Sicko Mode” while claiming La Flame sent them. Now—be it through enlisting Cardi B, Saweetie, or Justin Bieber—McDonald’s and their contemporaries are desperately trying to replicate that lightning-in-a-bottle moment, and it’s not working.
 
Once the novelty of the Travis Scott meal wore off, everybody saw it for what it was: a soulless cash grab by a giant corporation. Seeing the BTS boys scarfing down McNuggets elicits the same eye roll reaction as Jennifer Aniston claiming to stay ageless and wrinkle-free by using Aveeno cream. 
 
Travis Scott, Cardi B, Offset, and all the others are worth millions of dollars and live in mansions in the Hamptons with butlers and personal chefs. If you actually believe they’re ordering off the dollar menu like us normal people instead of enjoying filet mignon in silk pajamas, you might want to look up because it says gullible on your ceiling. Don’t buy this silly corporate fantasy.
 
Also, while it can be great for business in the short term, companies aligning themselves with celebrities and their questionable morals might not always be a great idea. This is especially true for companies like McDonald’s that supposedly cultivate a family-friendly image. 
 
Pusha T—whose signature fish sandwich appropriately came out last year alongside a diss track aimed at the Filet-O-Fish—has made a living writing some of the meanest rap songs around. The self-proclaimed ‘Cocaine Dr. Seuss’ is a great rapper, but not exactly a great role model for kids. 
 
Then there’s Cardi B, who admitted in 2019 she used to drug and rob men when she worked as a stripper—avoiding any drink with her name on it might be a good idea. Surely McDonald’s can find a more FDA-approved spokesperson to sell us their McMeals.
 
If fast food joints want to sell more of their stuff, they should probably put more money into increasing the quality of their offerings. Or, better yet, continue to sell their food at affordable prices to combat the inflation we’re seeing in grocery stores. Anything but more celebrity-branded meals that are little more than one weird topping on an old favourite. 
 
Lord help us all if God’s plan includes a Drake meal.
 

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