Artist and Queen’s PhD student Kellyann Marie’s Union Gallery exhibit, On my knees through the desert repenting, was pieced together after the death of Marie’s brother, Eoian Patrick.
On display from Oct 13. to Dec. 19, the exhibit’s title comes from from Mary Oliver’s poem, “Wild Geese.” It became important to Marie because their family read that poem together by their brother’s deathbed. Furthermore, on one of their many biking journeys across the U.S. and Canada, Marie found themself in the desert, mourning their brother.
Marie’s biking journeys have taken them across Europe, Canada, and the United States. It was an activity they did with their brother, and their preferred mode of transportation after his death.
“I had just seen my brother die, and then two days later, I was biking on the same bike path that we had started biking together on,” Marie told The Journal.
The only work created before his death, My Brother Used to Shave My Head on Mama’s Porch, was the exhibit’s catalyst. The painting was going to be on display in Tallahassee, where the siblings lived together during Marie’s undergrad. However, their brother never got to see it in-person.
To Marie, the piece meant too much to just hang on a blank gallery wall, resulting in the large tree cradle installation on the Union Gallery’s back wall. The trees aren’t simply green and brown, but yellow and blue, giving them more dimension.
“I originally built that whole cradle to house that painting so that it was relegated to bigger than it was, so people knew it was really, really important,” Marie said in an interview with The Journal.
The painting has been replaced in the tree cradle by a large quilted portrait of their brother holding a cyanotype alligator, a motif often used in Marie’s art to represent their childhood and experience with poverty.
The entire piece is made with a variety of second-hand materials. While creating this project, the second-hand element became even more important.
Marie’s brother was an organ donor, and according to Marie, he was now second-hand himself, being repurposed to help complete strangers.
“It’s a way a lot of people wouldn’t want to think about their loved one […] but it’s like a salve for this whole terrible thing,” Marie said. “My brother lived to be second-hand, and he repaired.”
For Marie, art helped them work through their grief because it became easier to accept what happened. For non-artists, they may have only seen the tragedy for what it was. Marie argued that being an artist helped them experience grief in many ways.
“It’s a level removed,” Marie said. “I can think about that memory without having to be in that memory.”
The art exhibit included the program from Patrick’s funeral, which featured a hand-drawn portrait of Marie’s brother in his hospital room. After the funeral, Marie carried the program on their biking trip from Florida to Montreal.
Near the program is a bronze hand belt with two clasped hands that were worn by Victorian widows in mourning. Incorporated into this belt were the staples from their brother’s head, which Marie had acquired in an attempt to keep as much of their brother that they could.
“When he died, I wanted everything I could have of that,” Marie said. “I had the coroner take the staples out of his head […] and I carried it with me across the country.”
Marie was able to pursue their passion for making art through their brother’s support. They turned towards art after the loss of their brother because it felt like the right thing to do.
“When this all happened, […] it just seemed natural that I would use something we had been practicing our whole life to get through that.”
According to Marie, after leaving Union Gallery, On my knees in the desert repenting will continue to be displayed. They plan to have the art cover an entire room instead of just a wall.
On my knees through the desert repenting was not simply a memorial for Eoian Patrick, but a way to carry his memory forward. Using art to process their grief, Marie’s exhibit creates space for viewers to work through their own.
Tags
art exhibit, grief, Textiles, Union Gallery
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