QJSex: Buying your first sex toy

Vibrators, dildos, sleeves, bullets, butt plugs, prostate massagers, floggers, branched dildos, strap-ons, nipple clamps, restraints ... these are just some of the many kinds of commercial sex toys out there.

The sheer number of options can make the choice intimidating for a first-time buyer. And since everyone experiences pleasure differently, that toy you heard about on Sex and the City years ago or the one your super open friend swears by may not be right for you. In all likelihood, finding a sex toy that you love as much as it loves you will be a trial and error process. So where to begin?

First, ask yourself a few questions to help narrow your search.

What kind of pleasure do you want to experience?

Think about what sort of pleasure you enjoy, either from a partner(s) or from masturbation. Do you enjoy clitoral stimulation, G-spot stimulation, or simultaneous? Do you get off on nipple play alone? Do you enjoy prostate massage or external anal stimulation? Do you like having your penis firmly stroked? Maybe you need to play with your testicles at the same time?

Whatever you enjoy, there’s a sex toy designed to stimulate that body part!

Is subtlety a consideration?

If you’re living in residence or with housemates and don’t want them to know about your purchase, consider the design and volume of the sex toy before purchasing. Some sex toys designed to look like lipstick, rubber ducks, or innocuous massagers can easily blend into a shared space, without the worry of hiding them all the time.

If you’re purchasing something that massages or vibrates, you can usually turn on a demo or ask an employee how loud that product is. Volumes vary immensely, and if you don’t want others to know that you’re using a sex toy, you may be unhappy with your purchase if you soon realize it’s as loud as a small hair dryer!

How easily can it be cleaned?

If you’re not sharing your sex toy, you may not think this is a consideration for you. However, if you’ve ever experienced any sort of genital infection (yeast infection, gonorrhea, chlamydia, etc), it’s possible to pass that infection to your sex toy and then back to yourself at a later date!

Sex toys made with products such as rubber jelly or plastic carry this particular risk, as they may be porous and could trap bacteria. You can avoid this by purchasing a sex toy that can be sterilized (look for products made with medical grade silicone) or by using condoms on your sex toy.

These are just a couple things to think about before you take the plunge with a new toy. You may want to try experimenting with cheaper sex toys before you invest $50-$200+ in one that doesn’t cut it for you. You can also invite some spice into your life with a simple costume piece, food or flavoured lubricant, a shower head, etc, in addition to or instead of the commercially-produced toys described here. Anything that makes you feel sexy is a sex toy, and your imagination is the most powerful sex toy you will ever find!

Resources in Kingston for your sex toy-buying needs (by proximity to campus)

  • Sexual Health Resource Centre
  • Room 223, John Deutsch University Centre (JDUC), Queen’s University
    (613) 533-2959
    All products at the SHRC are sold at-cost with no profit to us.

  • Cynthia’s
  • 326 Princess Street
    (613) 549-8869

  • Sinsations Adult Boutique
  • 277 Bath Road
    (613) 542-9767

  • Pleasure Island
  • 1404A Bath Road
    (613) 531-0069

    This blog is being run in conjunction with the Sexual Health Resource Centre, located in the JDUC, room 223. Follow them on Twitter @shrckingston.

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