At the request of Henri Fabergé of Henri Fabergé and The Adorables, we met secretly at the Kingston Mills locks, a rendezvous he said would be far more romantic than a phone conversation. We spoke of Valentines Day, world exploits and the hilarity of the college-sensation textsfromlastnight.com, as he took time from his day job involving the paper-pushing of experimental testing on convicts.
A musical group based in Toronto, Henri Fabergé and The Adorables embody a sound their MySpace page totes as “excess, decadence and strife.” Searching the blogosphere for updates on this group fares light in the past couple of years.
“We had some great momentum and then I jumped ship to chase a girl,” Fabergé said. “The writing I have read of our group as of late describes us as ‘defunct’ and ‘a failure.’ Balderdash.” I assure him I will write nothing of the sort, and look forward to their Feb. 13 show at The Mansion’s Wine Cellar. Perhaps this lacklustre press has led to Fabergé’s opinion of journalism.
“I must warn you, my contempt for musical journalism is concealed by the thinnest veneer,” he said.
We discuss his upcoming show and I inform him The Wine Cellar is intimate in atmosphere, prompting an evaluation of Valentines Day.
“Oh, every day is VD as far as I’m concerned. You see what I did there? VD? Venereal disease? Never mind, I killed the joke,” he said.
The clarification proves his humour runs deeply and cryptically.
“But yes, I like Valentine’s Day,” he said. “I think humanity is built upon—and destroyed by—romance. How does one celebrate Valentine’s Day, really? For me it’s just a red flag. Either you’re in a relationship and celebrate that which should be celebrated every day, [or you’re] single and take what you can get. Unfuckable? Stay at home and mope. Do people need a holiday to remind them that they are in love, should be in love or can’t be loved? It’s obnoxious.”
The conversation is refreshingly honest and enlightening. When it comes to his reflection upon Queen’s, frustrated fourth-year students may breathe a sigh of relief.
“Kingston is to cities what Queen’s is to universities what Canada is to the world.” On his undergraduate career, Fabergé said he stayed enrolled out of apathy.
“I couldn’t be fucked to pick up and strike out on my own. I enjoyed myself, but by the time I realized that I should be doing something more inspiring, it was all over. My opinion is, unless you’re an engineer or medical student, post-secondary education is a waste of time and money. And Queen’s especially rides on its dusty old reputation without much attempt to stay ahead of the curve,” he said.
For those of you worried about the pull your liberal arts degree will have in the professional world, Fabergé shares what really matters.
“It all comes down to personal capability, integrity and honesty; the ability to learn, commit, do a job, and a desire to do better. But would I be better off having not gone [to university]? Maybe not.”
The pragmatic, yet private frontman of The Adorables shares his wisdom with me easily, though careful not to tread too heavily on his personal life. In an informative e-mail leading up to our meeting, Fabergé provided me with some “un-Googleable” information that seemed pertinent to the interview.
He describes himself as “a consummate philanthropist, though some label me a consummating philanderer.” In addition to his job at the medical research center and his musical troupe, Fabergé is “charged with the consuming, tiresome duty of educating an inarticulate public about their shortcomings as a species.” This should paint a picture of him as an enigma; an entertaining frontman who is quite forward and brash on stage.
“I tend to get so riled up that I end up stripping most of [my clothes] off. The homosexual feelings I generate in my male fans are just too delightful to not pay homage to.” It should come as no surprise that his stage presence requires some hype from onlookers.
“I’d be remiss to point out that the success of any show depends on the audience,” he said. “If they stand around like fucking ingrates when I bark at them to dance and join in, well … it’s their loss.” To avoid disappointing (and keeping clothed) Fabergé, he suggests some liquid courage for the concert attendees.
“I hope they [the audience] get absolutely blotto first. It seems to be the only thing that dulls the pain these days.”
Spoken like a true musician. Or is it? Despite industry praise and an impressive Adorable roster, Fabergé claims that he isn’t “an accomplished musician by any means, and I have the attention span of a gnat.” As with many Ontario groups that operate under the indie title, the members of his band often circulate and amass to a busy stage.
“The camaraderie is nice, but it does get distorted into a strange concept of ‘collectives’ and ‘scenes’ by music journalists to the point where it doesn’t mean anything anymore,” he said. “I have to say, my approach to music is a bit bizarre. It’s almost like I have to wrench it out of myself.”
When asked who Fabergé would like to have as an Adorable, Maurice Chevalierno and George Clinton top the list, and he’s dubbed this theoretical sound as “SpaceFuckSwoonCroon.”
To swoon and croon with Henri and the Adorables, keep your Saturday night free for some cellar (and stellar) grooves.
Henri Fabergé and The Adorables play The Wine Cellar tomorrow night. Doors open at 9 p.m. Tickets are $10 and are available at the door.
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