In an article published in Monday’s Globe and Mail, Sarah Hampson considers the overlooked value of one of humanity’s less appreciated emotions: sorrow.
The article, titled “Don’t always look on the bright side of life” suggests that we live in a culture which seeks to purge sadness entirely, in favour of a “relentless focus on happiness.” Sadness has become so undesirable that we can’t share it with others. Hampson suggests that we’re afraid to admit that we’re sad because we don’t want to appear weak or self-indulgent in the eyes of others.
Hampson differentiates between depression and the feeling of sadness—the former being a serious problem.
Hampson consults with experts in psychology and sociology, and concludes that we need to acknowledge the valuable role sadness plays in the normal range of human emotions.
Aside from informing any number of artistic or creative endeavours, she points out that sadness plays a crucial role in letting us know when something is wrong, especially when we need to reflect on the decisions we’ve made.
Sadness also gives us a point of reference to savour other emotions—we appreciate being happy more because we know how unpleasant it is to be sad.
While it’s difficult to accept that being sad is a good thing, the Globe article makes a number of good points.
We don’t do ourselves any favours by overlooking how we feel. One of the most effective ways of dealing with sadness, or the problem that is causing it, is to share that sadness with someone else.
A reluctance to share our feelings with others prevents us from gaining perspective. Our friends and family often help us understand who we are, and help us with emotional concerns. Part of being more willing to talk is being more willing to listen. By marginalizing the problems of others—or by focusing entirely on our own lives—we contribute to the idea that there is something inherently wrong about being sad and we deny others an outlet to share.
However, we need to keep in mind the distinction between engaged discussion and blind sympathy. Validating the emotional concerns of others doesn’t mean that we should become a culture of bleeding hearts and pillowy shoulders to cry on. We shouldn’t be afraid to disagree with others when it seems like they’re being unreasonable or self-indulgent. Doing this is still considerably more helpful than refusing to talk at all.
We should listen to and engage with the concerns of others, because it’s the easiest way to help ourselves as well.
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