It’s been a rough couple of weeks, eh? I mean, we’ve all been taking a serious beating in the press, our teachers are comparing us to the minions of the Third Reich, trees are attacking our homes and vehicles, and we’ve been threatened with water cannons and attack dogs by the mayor. Plus, when Principal Hitchcock isn’t checking her messages on the Ghetto snitch line, she’s meeting with students only long enough to take fingerprints.
But it can’t be all bad, can it?
Here are a few things that I think we can all still be happy about.
• The most anticipated NHL season of recent memory opened yesterday and I can’t think of anything I’m more thankful for. Best of all, you don’t need your Intro to Economics textbook to watch the highlights anymore.
The CBC is back
• Or, at least it will be within a day or two. This is about more than just Hockey Night in Canada. This is wonderful, wonderful news to everyone who felt lost without the steady background soundtrack of Radio One in the mornings. And to be honest, I didn’t think I’d miss Peter Mansbridge as much as I did.
• This season is as bountiful as any in the continuing Canadian indie music renaissance. Late summer saw new releases by Cuff the Duke and The New Pornographers. September had new records by FemBots, The Constantines, Metric, The Deadly Snakes and Wolf Parade. Broken Social Scene released Windsurfing Nation on Tuesday. Heck, even Neil Young wanted a piece of the action, releasing a new record last week.
• I know there are people out there who know what I’m talking about. You’ve been eyeing that chocolate brown V-neck for, like, three weeks now. Well, despite our unseasonably warm September, I bet after this weekend you’ll get to show it off.
• If you were planning to do the
long-distance thing and you didn’t even make it past the first six weeks, I hate to break it to you, but it just wasn’t meant to be. Forget about that jerk or jerkette and enjoy your new-found freedom. Take the opportunity to flirt and frolic. C’mon, it’s sweater weather, you’ll pick up massive!
• Looks better than last year already, doesn’t it? That Lovefest thing sounds a little greasy, though.
The Corn Maze on Wolfe Island
• Playing is so much fun, and never do we need to play more than when we feel bogged down by the dregs of academia. Nobody ever says “hegemony,” “phallic symbol” or “deprotonated acids” when they’re playing in the Corn Maze. Ever. They’re too busy running around shouting “I’m totally in a giant corn maze! This is so much fun!”
• Best. Holiday. Ever.
Despite the essay that I just bombed, the Ghetto-bugs that take over my house after midnight, my dwindling bank account, the essay that I will have bombed by the time this is published, my congested sinuses and all the other shit that’s been getting me down lately, all I’m thinking about right now is warm pumpkin pie. I suggest you do the same. Happy Thanksgiving everybody.
All final editorial decisions are made by the Editor(s)-in-Chief and/or the Managing Editor. Authors should not be contacted, targeted, or harassed under any circumstances. If you have any grievances with this article, please direct your comments to firstname.lastname@example.org.