There’s nothing worse than guessing whether your crush likes you or a budding romance is all in your head.
From the trying to see if they’re holding your eye contact or just zoning out in your direction, to wondering if they asked for your Instagram just to get lecture notes or if they’re looking for an excuse to slide in your DMs, crushes can be confusing, infuriating, and even anxiety-inducing. Here’s a few words of wisdom for the romantically clueless.
Though the hardest hints to pick up are the hints delivered out in the wild, the mystery behind these interactions presents the best ground to be ballsy in my opinion. Hints are rarely clear, and intuition is easy to doubt, so I’d advise you to take matters into your own hands when assessing someone’s interest.
If you see someone eyeing you, or if you’re eyeing someone you find attractive, introduce yourself and start up a conversation. Keep the banter simple and contextual—if you’re in a coffee shop, ask them their favourite order or what they’re there to do. If you’re in lecture, ask them what they think of the course.
Once you get their number, try out that cheesy pickup line to make it clear you’re interested romantically.
While this is much easier said than done, it’ll add a little thrill to your romantic life. Have fun, don’t take things too seriously, and be prepared to sometimes be defeated.
Now let’s delve into when there’s obvious chemistry, and your friends insist a certain someone is into you, and you catch yourself smiling at your phone when their name pops up.
If things are moving in the right direction, it’s best to give it some time to make space for both of you to fully communicate what you’re feeling, your intentions, the pace you’re comfortable moving at, and your compatibility. Try to restrict this to a couple weeks to a month to avoid getting into a six-month situationship.
The initial rush of having a crush—those first few texts where your rizz is rizzing, or the first coffee date—can get in the way of being rational.
I’ve noticed even when the vibes are flowing, and the coffee shop hang outs are happening, it’s not always clear if someone is interested in you the way you might be interested in them. They might have given you the wrong idea or they’re not seeing the interactions in the same light and just being friends.
It’s important for your own peace of mind to ask them where they stand. Before you do, here are some signs you can observe.
The first hint they like you is if they partake in your hobbies and interests, even if they’re new to them.
I recently watched The Lord of the Rings because the guy I’m seeing said it was his favourite movie of all time, and he listened to my 54-song playlist of incredibly sad music because I told him it was my favourite. I think it’s clear we’re into each other, because neither of us would do that for anyone else.
Another hint is if they go out of their way to talk to you and reply to your texts.
I’m in a long-distance relationship, and even when we’re incredibly busy we’ll send each other random photos or things that happen throughout the day. It only takes a few seconds, but it reminds us we’re thinking of each other.
There’s always an reason to send a quick text–whether it’s an update on work or school, or your plans for the night
Someone might like you if they pay close attention to you by remembering your favourite things or fun facts about you. Bonus point if they gift you something related to interests you’ve mentioned in passing.
Another hint is if they insist on doing small non-important things with you, like helping you come up with ideas for the article you’re writing, running errands, or walking you home at night. Though individually these little moments might seem small, they add up as signs someone cares about you.
With time and practice, you’ll get better at reading people and eventually a crush will bloom into something more. Then you—hopefully—won’t need to worry about these hints ever again.
But at the end of the day, the best way to end the guessing game is to ask—remember, your time is precious.
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