Hi, I’m Elizabeth—Liz, for short—and I’ve long experienced the highs and lows of dating and friendship. Some will say I’ve always been in my lover girl era.
Despite being in a very happy long-term (albeit very long-distance) relationship, I’ve had my fair share of questionable and character-building experiences. Call it growth or maybe it’s my frontal lobe developing.
I’ve been writing “From Liz, With Love” for three years. Over these years, I’ve replied to questions on all sorts of topics—from the basics of getting boo’ed-up, to dealing with toxic relationships and friendships, to more serious topics like pregnancy, personal traumas, and insecurities. I’m at your disposal for my final year at Queen’s for any and all questions to be answered in this bi-weekly column. As my first act of service for you, here’s five dos and don’ts of dating at Queen’s.
Do: Get to know people from other programs / Don’t: Take dating so seriously
Expanding your social circle by meeting students from different programs is a great opportunity to make new friends and spark inter-faculty romance. It’s a great way to find new study buddies, party companions, or someone who can explain calculus to you. But, don’t take dating so seriously you start planning your wedding after the first date. University is a time for exploration and fun, not crafting a 10-year relationship plan. Enjoy the moments, laugh at the awkward ones, and remember not every date needs to lead to eternal love—or even a second date.
Do: Bond over pumpkin spice at Balzac’s / Don’t: Spend your date on your phone
Arguably the best café in Kingston, Balzac’s is the perfect spot for a cozy first date. But don’t spend the entire date scrolling through Instagram or checking your messages. Nothing kills the mood faster than competing with a phone for attention. Your latte art deserves an audience, but your date deserves your undivided attention even more. Unless you’re sending an S-O-S text, your BFF can wait until after the
date for updates.
Do: Keep yourself honest and accountable / Don’t: Date your TA
You’ll meet many different personalities in university, all with their own dating goals. If you have an idea of what you’re looking for romantically or platonically, make yourself clear to those around you to avoid any hurt feelings. Honesty is key in any relationship, and keeping your dating life free from unnecessary drama makes everything smoother. But dating your TA? That’s a plot twist that belongs in a bad rom-com. Keep the romance for someone who isn’t grading your papers!
Do: Study dates in Douglas Library / Don’t: Engage in excessive PDA
Libraries have a perfect mix of a studious atmosphere and cozy nooks for some quality study bonding. Whispering flirty lines is fine, but no one wants to witness a full-on make-out session in the stacks. Save the affection for more private moments when you’re not surrounded by caffeine-fueled zombies.
Do: Let loose at the clubs occasionally / Don’t: Forget your safety
The club dance floor is the ideal place to display your killer moves (or at least your enthusiastic attempts) with your friends. But don’t leave your drink unattended, and make sure you have a plan to get home safely. Keep an eye out for your friends, too—because a memorable night shouldn’t end with a frantic search party or an impromptu sleepover in the emergency room. Be wary of who you meet on a night out.
I heard the varsity soccer players have a wall covered with women’s bras and I wouldn’t want you to lose yours.
Tags
columns, FLWL, friends, FYIF2024, love, Love Liz
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