Love it or hate it, Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, bringing with it overpriced flowers, awkward dinner dates, and the annual debate over whether a situationship deserves a gift—the answer is a big fat NO.
Buckle up, because the star signs are in for a wildVal ride.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)
Embrace your passionate and fiery side, Sagittarius, and ask the person you’ve been talking to on a date. A real date! No, “wanna come over and watch a movie?” doesn’t count. And if your idea of planning is “let’s just see where the night takes us,” don’t be surprised if you end up alone. A little effort won’t kill you, I promise.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)
Just because your beau’s love language isn’t gift giving, Capricorn, doesn’t mean they don’t love you. Stop being so materialistic and get over it. Not everyone expresses their love with overpriced jewelry and a picture-perfect dinner at Heist. Maybe instead of secretly getting upset about their handwritten card, try appreciating the fact that someone willingly puts up with your emotionality unavailable self.
Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)
Don’t let your partner get away with the joint Valentines-Birthday celebration, Aquarius. You deserve better, and honestly, if they really cared, they wouldn’t have even suggested that nonsense in the first place. This is your reminder that “minimal effort” isn’t a personality trait, and bare minimum romance isn’t something you should tolerate.
Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20)
Valentine’s Day isn’t stupid, Pisces. You don’t have to pretend to be above it because nobody’s sent you flowers yet. Embrace your soft side and let yourself be loved. But also, if you’re planning to cry into your pillow while listening to All Too Well (Taylor’s Version), at least put on something comfy first—you might be there for a while.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
You’re not playing hard to get, Aries. You’re just being slightly mean to the person you’re talking to. And by “slightly mean,” I mean they’re genuinely confused about whether you like them or want to fight them. A little mystery is sexy, but at this point, they might just think you hate them. Maybe throw in a compliment between insults—just for balance.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Don’t be upset, Taurus, when your situationship doesn’t ask you to be their Valentine. After all, this is the same person who has told you multiple times they’re not looking for a relationship… yet, somehow, you still believe they’ll change for you. Spoiler alert: they won’t.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Your RomCom dreams are about to come true, Gemini, just you wait. Maybe somewhere unexpected, like a chaotic meet-cute at Metro when you both reach for the last overpriced Valentine’s chocolate. Or perhaps when you “accidentally” bump into your crush at Balzac’s after strategically stalking their usual schedule. Either way, your love story is unfolding—soak it all in.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Cancer, it’s time to stop yearning for love and instead, appreciate the people you have in your life. Galentine’s day isn’t so bad—especially when you realize that at least your friends won’t text “you up?” at 11:47 p.m. Sure, you could spend the night longing for a romantic gesture, or you could embrace the fact that a bottle of wine (or a couple) and zero relationship drama is a pretty solid deal.
Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22)
Leo, for once, try to focus on one person. Just one. I know, I know—commitment is terrifying, but you don’t need three different Valentine’s Day plans in case one gets boring. If you keep hedging your bets like this, you’re gonna end up alone with a bunch of undelivered “Happy Valentine’s” texts and a serious case of decision paralysis.
Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)
Stop trying to play Cupid, Virgo. It didn’t work the first time and it won’t work the second. While it’s nice you care about your friends, they’re this close to banning you from interfering in their love lives ever again. Maybe, just maybe you should put a little more effort into your own love life before messing with theirs.
Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)
Be more decisive, Libra. You don’t need to re-write that text 45 times. Don’t overanalyze. What’s meant to be, will be. But let’s be real, we both know you’re still going to send it to three different group chats for proofreading, then end up deleting it altogether because “it just doesn’t sound right.” At this rate, Valentine’s Day will be over before you even hit send.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)
Don’t be afraid to shine this Valentine’s Day, Scorpio. Put yourself out there and you might just find the one. Your date with a pint of ice cream won’t cut it this year—no matter how emotionally supportive that Ben & Jerry’s tub has been. You’re a catch but love isn’t going to hunt you down in your dimly lit student house living room while you scroll through your ex’s Instagram.
Tags
astrology, horoscopes, Valentines
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