Your first year of university is a super exciting time of your life, where you’ll learn to navigate many different things. As you start your semester, one thing that might be on your syllabus is sex.
You’re going to hear about it, learn about it, and probably find yourself thinking about it. For many people, this may be your first time — that’s a totally normal experience. University can be a time to start or continue your sexual exploration. To figure out what you like, what you don’t like, if sex is something you want, and what having sex means to you.
Figuring out these answers can be stressful, but also fun!
As the director of the Sexual Health Resource Centre (SHRC) on campus, here are some of my first-year tips to guide you along this exciting journey.
Safety First!
Being prepared in advance will not only make things easier and safer, but sex is a lot more fun when you don’t have worries in the back of your mind.
Use protection. There are free condoms available at the SHRC, and you can easily get STI tests at Student Wellness.
Sexual Communication
Don’t be afraid to be direct when it comes to your body and what you want. It is a privilege for someone to engage sexually with you, not a right!
Sexual communication is like a muscle you have to work out. It might be awkward at first, but the more you do it, the easier it will be.
Explore and Experiment
Before you figure out what someone else likes, it’s helpful to first figure out what you like. Self-exploration can look like whatever you want it to.
Explore and experiment by trying new things! Whether that’s by yourself, or with other people. As long as you’re safe and happy to experiment, getting out of your comfort zone can be very informative.
If you don’t like something you’ve tried, that’s a step closer to understanding what you do like.
Learn
Learning is the main point of university, right? At Queen’s, there’s plenty of opportunities to ask questions and learn about specific topics.
The SHRC is a one stop shop to ask those questions and browse products. But there’s also different courses you can take throughout university if you’re interested.
I would really recommend PSYC 333: Human Sexuality, but I may be biased since it was my favourite course of undergrad.
Embrace all experiences
I’m going to be real; sex can be awkward at first — but lean into it! That’s part of what makes your firsts sweet and special.
Don’t compare your experiences to the staged, practiced, and performed media you find online. An awkward head bump or words that come out weird are all part of the moment.
Amidst these learning curves, cherish this time. It won’t be forever that you live minutes away from everyone you know or be surrounded by these on-campus resources. No matter how you decide to spend your first year, you’ll be sure to remember these years long after you graduate — so make the most of it.
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As you visit different spots around Kingston, I invite you to visit one of its hidden gems.
Stop by the SHRC in the JDUC to grab free condoms, menstrual products, and pregnancy tests. As well, there’s a variety of sex toys and kink products that are sold at-cost, meaning the SHRC makes no money off your sale. Our trained volunteers are always there to answer any questions you may have about anything sex related.
Unlike your university experience, your sexual journey doesn’t have degree requirements and your experiences won’t be graded — the learning curve is completely up to you. With that, good luck. Class is in session!
Tags
Pillow Talk, Sex, Sex column, SHRC
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