Press play on that playlist, but don’t overthink it
Since I was a little girl, I’ve always wanted a movie montage like the one from Dirty Dancing. It’s fun to dive into a delusion that makes you romanticize your life and feel like you’re the leading role of some rom-com narrative.
One way I romanticize my days is by having several Spotify playlists on tap. From strutting through campus to looking out the car window, I have a playlist for it.
While I don’t have a sex playlist, I’m still all for listening to music when doing the deed—so long as you don’t overthink it.
In some cases, it can make you feel like you’re playing a part. This is when that delicious delusion flips around and induces a sense of imposter syndrome. The soundtrack to your lovemaking can be distracting; like there’s a camera crew behind your bed frame (if you have one), engineering what’s supposed to be an intimate moment.
While you might be worried about what happens if a bad song comes on, don’t be tempted to stop what you’re doing, unlock your phone, and fix the queue. In the movies, they don’t show the part where the guy who’s inside you is deeper into a sex playlist he made in first year, and Patrick Swayze wouldn’t even think about it.
Music during sex is a good idea unless you overthink it. Not only can it be fun, but on behalf of every roommate ever, it’s appreciated. However, don’t think it gives you a pass for dramatic screaming—everyone will still hear you over the Weeknd’s whining.
Another note: when crafting your playlist, you can do better than the Weeknd. Don’t forget about the masters of baby-making music and throw on some Marvin Gaye or Al Green.
Don’t put more care and attention into what’s coming out of your speaker than the person in front of you. Find a playlist, press shuffle, and get it on.
—Ella Thomas, Contributor
Cut the music
I don’t hate music during sex—there are contexts where it makes sense. Maybe you don’t know the other person super well, it’s a bit awkward, or you just need something to get the mood going.
I do think, however, that good sex is even better without music. There’s no buffer between you and your partner; it’s just you and them in the room.
Without the additional auditory distraction, every sound, breath, and moment becomes more pronounced, creating a heightened sense of connection. It leaves a lot more room for intimacy, which is great if the person you are having sex with is your long-time partner, or someone you know well and care deeply for.
To me, no music feels much rawer and more authentic. Music can be distracting. I want to be in the moment, not lost in the music.
Yes, some might say no music makes it awkward, but what’s even more awkward than having sex in silence is the moment when suddenly some heinous song comes on after your playlist ends that is so bad you must stop midway through to change it. Yikes!
Ultimately, the absence of music allows for a deeper, more intimate connection—one where every sensation is heightened, and every moment is shared in its purest form. While music may have its time and place, sometimes it’s just not needed.
—Layla Artzy, Staff Writer
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