Point/Counterpoint: Should significant others get free rein over their partner’s house?

Roommate relationships are at risk without the right guest etiquette

Image by: Angelina Liu
Housemates are divided on how to approach significant others.

They’re a guest, not a stranger

It’s okay for my roommate to want to spend quality time with their partner in the comfort of their own home.

Don’t get me wrong; nobody wants an additional roommate, especially one that isn’t contributing to bills. But if your roommate’s partner is on their best behaviour and doesn’t overstay their welcome, there’s no reason to make them feel unwanted.

When you go to anyone’s house, even a friend’s, you’re doing what they tell you to do. If they want to hang out in their room, then that’s the plan. I’m sure my roommate’s partner isn’t sitting on the couch in the living room watching a movie on their own volition. They should be allowed to use shared spaces without it getting awkward.

It’s a bad habit to want to hide in my room when guests are over — temporary confinement seems like the easiest way to avoid small talk. However, it feels awful knowing that people are intentionally avoiding you.

Small talk can be heinous, but it’s a minor price to pay to make someone feel a little more comfortable.

Besides, I want to show my friend that I’m trying to get to know someone they care about. So, your partner can stay over, but I’m agreeing strictly to preserve my roommate’s happiness.

– Mayah Ricketts, Assistant Arts and Culture Editor

If they’re not on the lease, they’re not a roommate

Relationships are wonderful; that goes without saying. What is not wonderful, however, is having to inconvenience yourself in your own home. As a roommate, you have a duty to yourself and the people you share a house with. Bringing an additional person into that environment is tricky.

I should stress, if a person is respectful of their partners’ home and roommates, I see no issue why we cannot happily coexist. So long as they don’t act as though they have their name on the lease.

As a roommate, you should acknowledge that overnight visits and the odd shower are bound to be an aspect of any university relationship. But it gets ever more complicated when things leave the bedroom and spread to the rest of the house.

“Claiming the couch” is an unthinkable move from a significant other who is staying over. Why not sit on the couch in your own house? However, something like watching a movie is a welcome activity that’s made all the more enjoyable if they are chill.

And that’s what it amounts to some of the time. If you are chill and considerate, there is not likely to be any issue; perhaps even a friendship can bloom out of that. However, when a partner utilises a space like it’s their own, it changes the house dynamic and is not something roomates should have to put up with.

As a significant other, you have the right to be at your partner’s home, but being in a relationship with someone does not automatically make them your roommate.

– Sam Shaffer, Assistant Arts and Culture Editor

Tags

Housemates, point/counterpoint, roommates

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