An advantage of university student life is the ability to meet an array of people with varying interests, dislikes, and priorities. There a lot of ‘character archetypes’ at Queen’s, and with them come positives and negatives.
Here’s a review of our most prominent male archetypes’ red and green flags.
Indie Art Boys
Indie, punk, rock, and alternative-loving artists open a new world of passion, creativity, and wonder. They look at you with those sultry, weed-induced eyes, and stare into your soul while telling you how special you are.
They have an edge that diverges from the typically Brad and Chad Queen’s stereotype and automatically makes you feel safer with them. It’s intimate watching them perform, their voice washing over you and believing they’re only singing to you.
But the moment is shattered when you glance back only to realize his eyes are pointed just above you. Their allure will trap you, and you’re stuck fawning after a person with a roster bigger than the football team.
They’re a little quiet, but not from shyness, and their intellect hides their condescending need to correct. These boys like to linger in the arts or brag about their dual ability to create art but get a degree in science.
They’re busy as a bee and can always get their two-week flings in for free.
The hub worker is perfect if you’re into the bar scene because they’re always conveniently off work in the wee hours of the morning. The white electro lights pulsating in Stages makes you reminisce about the bouncer who caught you from falling down. Luckily for you, they’re getting ready to leave this bustling downtown.
Even though they’re into the Kingston night life, they don’t seem to care too much about missing a night out for work. I give them credit for working late and responsibly following through on their jobs. Long hours and lonely nights of sweaty drunk people is never fun, but hey, a 10 percent tip never hurt anyone.
Don’t you just love seeing the Ale line wrap all the way to the Tommy’s and know that you, yes you, can saunter up to the front and get in for free? But beware: once your two weeks have hit its peak and the line is too long, you can either wait or maybe just sleep.
Try seeing them outside the bar and you might have more luck looking for a ginger-loving leprechaun.
Gym bros are a complex phenomenon, often offering two extremes of the same scale.
On one side, gym interest is synonymous with obsession. Their excessive need to exercise stems from the suffocation of their own insecurity and often results in projection, whether that be through the judgement of others health choices, criticism of body shape, or competition and comparison of other’s weights in the gym.
Let’s face it, I don’t really care if you can bench more than a first year.
They believe their insecurity is masked by the size of their chest, and paired with a easily explosive attitude, I fear telling them the harsh truth: the size of your pecs doesn’t hide the fact that you’re a douche.
On the other end of the scale, long live the responsible and routine gym bros who prioritize a healthy lifestyle—academically, emotionally, and physically. Rather than judgement, you’re met with passionate, encouraging men who want to see you reach your goals and succeed.
Plus, you get to do cute gym dates with a big, hunky man with biceps. Score!
I’ll start with the preface that this is (partially) satire just so none of the Commerce men reading this get daddy’s money to sue me for defamation.
The Commerce faculty is commendable in their integral ability to socialize and network. Their charm and likability are manufactured qualities needed to be successful in the business world. They have a strong work ethic and motivation to succeed and their careful spending of money—whether that’s on stocks or a dinner for two—can make you feel special. In fact, the men in this cult-like faculty can be lovely at times.
Unfortunately, behind their boat shoes and button ups lie pretentious men clutching daddy’s money and mommy’s privilege. Their chant at the Comm-Eng hockey game was literally “we employ you,” and while that may be true, it doesn’t disprove my argument. I’m not sure what’s larger: their superiority complex or the size of their rosters.
A special shoutout to the Engineering men: while I could go on and on about you, I couldn’t commit to writing too much about your flags. I figured you’d be fine with this, given the faculty-wide obsession with non-commitment relationships and all.
This list is all in good fun. Everyone has their red and green flags—such is life!
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