As of yesterday, at 11:40 a.m., I am officially 21 years old. As I was getting ready for this birthday I realized that it means nothing to me. What does it mean to be 21? I’m now allowed to drink in the U.S., but what else is there when you’re 21? I feel like I’ve passed all the exciting birthdays: 16 when—after years of dreaming—driving is within your reach, 18 when you legally become an adult and 19 when alcohol is something you are allowed to have in public instead of something secret.
What do you have ahead of you when you turn 21?
As a teenager, birthdays signify adulthood by conferring adult privileges, and they are as unforgettable as the first time you drive a car.
Something I remember more vividly than any of those significant birthdays was a true rite of passage I underwent the summer I was 17. With the camp I had been attending for six years, I paddled down the Harricana River with 13 friends in northern Quebec. When the river spilled out into James Bay, we paddled nearly 80 kilometres across the southernmost tip of the Bay to arrive in Moosonee two days later, hungry and exhausted. This experience, which I shared with those I paddled the river with and those who had paddled it before me, allowed me to join the ranks of those who had “been to the Bay,” and was something I had always wanted to do.
Having endured an incredible experience and coming out stronger for it, I became an adult, not legally, but in the eyes of those I respected. I had a greater sense of myself and my abilities. Only then did I feel more like a woman, and less like a little girl. That experience made me more of an adult than when I first drove a car or bought alcohol.
Rites of passage exist in many other cultures, but within our own the rites of passage are tied to randomly chosen dates. However, we are not bound to these dates to decide what makes us adults; we can do that on our own.
I’m not suggesting that everyone needs to paddle down a wild river in the north to become an adult, but that you choose an experience your own. Regardless of the activity, it is simply a process of pushing beyond what one thinks is reasonable and coming back with a greater knowledge of oneself and one’s place in a greater community that makes it a rite of passage.
To those of you who turn 18 or 19 this year, I salute you. Have a great birthday, and enjoy the rights and privileges that you have been given. However, please consider challenging yourself and taking a journey to a place beyond your current experience, and coming back stronger, as an adult in your own eyes.
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