When applying to universities and colleges in high school, I thought I had the next four years of my life all planned out. I was wrong.
This plan involved moving six hours away from home to study aviation in Sault Ste. Marie. I would become a pilot and follow in the footsteps of my father.
It wasn’t until the last few weeks of high school, graduation inching ever so closer, that I realized I was making a mistake.
It took taking on a leadership role in gym class with students with special abilities at my school and a couple seasons of Abbott Elementary for me to realize that pursuing a career in education was my real dream.
When I made the ultimate decision to change from aviation to teaching, he agreed that this change in future career paths was the right decision for me and stood by my side. My father knew I would’ve done great in piloting, but once I showed a slight bit of hesitation, he understood that teaching was the best fit for me.
This realization unleashed a new fear inside me, that it was too late to change paths. I wondered if I could still remain alongside my graduating peers by starting school in the fall.
Scrambling to get accepted into an education program in April, months before walking the stage for my diploma, I realized that getting a last minute acceptance into university was hopeless. My worst fear of falling behind became my only choice.
Taking a gap year was never in the books for me.
I hated watching all my friends move on while I felt stuck for a whole year, feeling unable to move forward with my life.
My friends made new friends, new memories without me in them, and I was nothing short of envious. People reminded me my time would come, but they didn’t understand what it felt like to be missing out on such a fundamental part of life.
Looking back on my year however, I don’t think I was standing still at all.
One of the biggest parts of my gap year was volunteering in an elementary school.
I wanted to get a sense of what my future could hold and gain experience in my aspired field of work. I went back to my old elementary school and helped all the familiar faces, like the teachers I grew up with.
I walked in thinking I was there to help the students, but they ended up helping me just as much.
Every day reminded me how important patience is, how much confidence can grow from encouragement, and how learning is more than just getting
good grades.
Watching those students celebrate even the smallest victories made me truly appreciate progress instead of perfection.
Every time I stepped into that class, every student ran up to me, begging to read, as I often read French books with the students, helping them when they slipped up.
I vividly remember the looks on the students’ faces while finishing a book, knowing that despite messing up, they’d figured their way through. It helped me discover things that I can apply to my own education.
Returning to the basic joys of learning after going through high school, where everything seemed to rely on grades, reminded me how every day of school should be a new opportunity to simply be ready to make mistakes and learn from them.
As much as my gap year taught me about my new aspirations in life, it was not without its own unique challenges.
The past year I faced difficulties I could have never prepared myself for.
Throughout high school, I had been fighting for answers regarding a health issue I was facing. I spent the year visiting hospital upon hospital, undergoing dozens of rounds of bloodwork, scans, and investigative surgeries.
I could have never predicted a cancer scare being in the cards for me, and when it became my reality, it was the most frightening time in my life. It felt like I had no control over my reality anymore, yet this also changed my perspective.
I spent so much time getting upset with the fact I had no control over my life, that throughout the worrying and stress, I realized the things that I do have control over. I began to appreciate the people I surrounded myself with, like my friends and family, the opportunities I had ahead of me, like choosing which university I would end up at, and the ultimate choice to keep moving forward despite it all.
These experiences didn’t give me all the answers. If anything, they made me more comfortable with not having them.
Now as I prepare to start my first year at Queen’s, I’m arriving with a different mindset that I would have never had a year ago.
I’m less focused on having the “perfect” university experience and more focused on being truly present for it. I want to introduce myself to new people, say yes to experiences that may scare me, and allow myself to grow in ways I can’t and won’t expect.
I know there will be difficult days. Assignments that overwhelm me, moments when I miss home, and times
when I wonder if I’m making the right choice. But if this year has taught me anything, it’s that growth rarely happens when everything goes according to plan.
Coming straight from volunteering all year in a classroom and moving into studying ConEd, my overall understanding of what it means to be an educator has evolved.
From my experience over this unexpected year, I want to become a teacher that’s not solely focused on the outcome of a student, but knows how to value all the little moments of learning, and to embrace mistakes.
As I begin my first year this September, I don’t feel as though I’m a year behind. If anything, it feels like I’ve been given a year to arrive exactly when I was meant to.
Tags
Education, first year, gap year
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