To dye or not to dye

New year, new me, but the same old hair crises.

Around this time last year, I cut bangs and proceeded to battle with them every single day for six months. My bangs have since grown out, but my hair journey hasn’t gotten any simpler. Randomly, over the winter break, I decided to bleach my whole head and dye my hair bright pink.

READ MORE: To bang or not to bang

I thought my bangs last school year screamed mental breakdown, but oh, how little I’d known. Nothing feels more attention-seeking and awkward than returning to the same class and club meetings post-break, this time with your cranium glowing bright red. You can’t help but feel everyone is wondering: seriously, what happened to you?

To preface, my dye-insecurity probably stems from the fact that I’d never dyed my hair a colour before. Not even as a kid. At first, I was embarrassed and ashamed, feeling like I had to chronically explain myself for my impulsive dye job.

It seemed the only happy person about my scalp was my littlest sister, who absolutely jumped for joy and praised me for weeks. She reminded me that before we learn embarrassment, we know delight and excitement.

It may seem shallow to worry so much about my hair, but I have a strong attachment to my hair that extends to its length, colour, and texture. However, that attachment doesn’t exist in a vacuum. As women, we’re encouraged to care about our appearances and hair is a big part of that—a universal symbol of femininity, beauty, and control.

However, it’s this internalized, societal emphasis on hair that makes me want to shave and cut and dye and braid my hair to remind myself: It’s just hair—it grows back!

Ever since dying my hair, it seems men have the most to say: “Why did you dye your hair? Natural is always better.” But there’s something pleasing in that too. To leave the male gaze behind, 21 years over-due.

Since the colourful dye excursion, I can’t listen to “Blue Hair” by TV Girl the same. The popular track  from their 2018 album, Death of a Party Girl, tells the story of a woman who outgrown her colourful blue hair, cutting it off, symbolizing her transition into maturity and conformity. Her hair becomes a tangible reminder of her coming of age.

For me, the story is a little different. I’m still young; the party girl isn’t dead. Coloured hair is in, clubbing is in, doing unconventional things is in, and nobody is in a rush to grow up.

At age 21, I dyed my hair a fun colour for the first time. I’ve had the opposite experience of the “Blue Hair” girl and I’ve gone backwards, reintroducing whimsy and colour into my young adult life. My little sister thinks she has the coolest older sister, boring men avoid me, and no matter what I’m wearing, I have a built-in accessory.

Last year, I advised against cutting bangs, urging readers to think it through. This year, I say: who cares! It’s time to stay forever young by never letting yourself, or your look, ossify.

Tags

dye, hair, hair dye, new year, trends

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