Yes, I’m looking at your feet

Sneakerhead analyzes your choice in footwear

Image by: Herbert Wang
Here's what your shoes say about you.

The first thing I notice when I meet someone new is always their shoes. They can be wearing the most absurd outfit or have the nicest hair and I will always, without fail, look down at what’s on their feet.

Don’t get it twisted, I’m no self-proclaimed sneakerhead, nor will I ever be. Rather, I’m a firm believer that one can tell a lot about a person based on what shoes they’re wearing.

Whether you’re sporting the same pair of beat-up sneakers every day or have a meticulous footwear rotation, here’s a roundup of the most popular shoes on campus and my take on what your go-to pair of shoes say about you.

New Balances

Starting off strong, we have New Balances—specifically, New Balance 550s and 530s.

What used to be the ultimate dad shoe is now being worn by half the campus population. If you’re sporting these, you’ve likely never had an original thought, and might be just a little afraid to take risks.

If you wear New Balances, you’re hot, but also boring. If anyone needs confirmation, just go to Dollar Beers on a Saturday night and you’ll see for yourself.

Adidas Sambas

Considering these shoes have been sold out in most sizes for the past year, anyone who has their hands on a pair of these has way too much free time. As someone who has spent hours scouring the internet for a pair, I speak from experience.

Adidas Sambas wearers have Instagram pages filled with 0.5-lens photos, and spend way too much time scrolling on social media looking for new fashion trends. If that’s you, I think it’s time to get a new hobby.

Maybe try going outside.

Doc Martens

If you wear Doc Martens, you’ll never be caught dead wearing a backpack to class—especially when canvas tote bags exist. You probably love thrifting and exclusively listen to sad music, no matter what mood you’re in.

You avoid confrontation at all costs—even when the barista forgets to make your iced matcha with oat milk. Everyone knows you’re not lactose intolerant. Don’t worry, a single drop of dairy won’t ruin your public image.

High Top Converse

People who wear high top Converse, specifically black and white Chucks, either love to go with the flow or overthink everything.  Whatever the case may be, Chuck fans gravitate towards shoes that can be worn with everything.

You’re probably at the Queen’s Centre, attempting to study at CoGro or lifting weights at the ARC—for you, there’s no in between.

Birkenstock Bostons

If you own these, you’ve had to defend spending over $200 on a pair of glorified slippers by telling everyone how comfortable they are. It’s okay to admit that you’re financially irresponsible.

You love a good pair of jorts in the summer and will continue to wear these until it starts to snow. After all, you must get your money’s worth.

Nike Air Force Ones

If you’re still wearing these in 2023, you’ve got some serious explaining to do—especially since they’re probably still dirty from last years’ sloppy St. Patty’s Day.

Anyone who still wears Air Force Ones  hates change and definitely peaked in high school. Fortunately, it’s never too late to phase out of your teenage years. While you’re at it, you might as well get rid of the McLovin’ tapestry that’s hanging somewhere in your room. Take the leap! Grow up.

Next time you’re in a lecture hall, take a sneaky glance down your row and see if any of these sneakers catch your eye— and who’s sporting them. In the end, who am I to judge? My go-to shoes are Tevas.


Air Force, feet, shoes, sneakers

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