As history repeats itself, yearners are going to yearn.
As Queen’s students approach the end of back-to-back party weekends, it’s time to think about partying’s connection to modern-day, romantic yearning. In early 2020, popstar Charli XCX released “party 4 u”, a single containing many parallels to Francis Scott Fitzgerald’s ’25 novel The Great Gatsby. In the song, XCX laments having only thrown “this party for you / I was hoping you would come through,” mirroring the infamous parties Gatsby throws in hopes his love interest, Daisy, will attend. It seems that yearning has been a facet of the human condition across centuries, though its shape has changed.
In a recent Elle article, journalist Vishakha Punjabi wrote “performative yearning is [Gen Z’s] loophole. It gives us the thrill of heartbreak without the mess of vulnerability.” Yearning for romance is performed publicly online for many members of Gen Z, such as when “party 4 u” trended on TikTok this summer, 5 years after its release. Users posted videos to the song, alluding to missed connections still lingering on their minds.
Even if someone is ultimately alone in the romance department, yearning romantically for someone can simulate feelings that accompany real-life relationships, like heartbreak. If yearning is a product of contemporary culture marked by isolation and emotional detachment, then parties with alcohol and crowded spaces facilitate much-needed intimacy. In this way, romantic longing and partying are intertwined.
The Great Gatsby has as much to say about that 2020s as it does the Roaring ’20s. In both decades, people sought entertainment to escape stress. The awkward, desperate social scene following the COVID-19 pandemic parallels the social reset following WWI. Gatsby’s excessive parties parallel the desperation of modern-day; he throws them to attract Daisy, though he’s more in love with the wealth she symbolizes. In a modern society that sometimes prioritizes material wealth over human connection, this theme is relatable.
Some TikTok videos focus on Gatsby’s longing for Daisy, set to “party 4 u,” seemingly relishing in the idea of broken dreams and extravagant grand gestures to revive lost love. But despite similarities, Gen Z lives in a very different era, something that XCX captures in the lyrics, “Called your digits, but the phone kept ringin’ / Wish I knew what you were thinking.” Despite instant digital connection, young people are lonelier than ever.
I’ve heard one too many friends express frustration over today’s “hookup culture,” where empty swiping on dating apps creates trust issues and often leads to empty sex that leaves participants lonelier than ever. But Gatsby didn’t exist in the era of Tinder, and his secret yearning for Daisy wasn’t hindered by the same online barriers that Gen Z face today. Despite how technological advancements have complicated the human experience, the human condition remains unchanged throughout history in many ways. Whether today, ‘25 or 2055, there will always be parties and people, groping in the dark, hoping to connect however they can.
Finding a genuine love sometimes means letting go of old crushes and hurts to open yourself up to someone new. Unfortunately or perhaps fortunately, this means saying goodbye to the Gatsby and XCX level yearning because you’re only keeping yourself stuck in the same performative cycle of sad edits that your For You Page (FYP) built brick by brick.Risking vulnerability reinforces romance—so at seasonal parties or elsewhere, go ahead and shoot your shot. It may just be the next great love story.
Tags
Charli XCX, Culture, gen z, Lifestyle, party 4u, Pop Culture, Relationships, romance, The Great Gatsby, yearning
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